There are ads on my blog now. I don't expect to make much money off them. They're more of a motivational thing for me. Even a tiny bit of money trickling in will motivate me to keep this going and I want to be motivated. There are so many things I could, and should, be doing with this time I spend working on this blog but this blog has come to mean something to me. It has become more than just a way to pass the time.
There is nothing more uninteresting than a writer writing about writing or a blogger blogging about blogging so I've tried to avoid it. I've mentioned a few times, though, that I was unsure what this blog would be or how long it would last. I still can't say for certain but this blog has become a part of my life and I hope I can keep it going. Yes, it has allowed me to get some things off my chest and express some things I wouldn't know how to express without writing but it's been more than that to me.
I was always a reader. I read Oliver Twist and Tom Sawyer in third grade. I didn't get the full brilliance of either until I was older but I got the gist of them even then. Of course, I knew people wrote those stories but it didn't occur to me then that I could be one of those people. Then in seventh grade I talked my mom into buying me what I thought of as an adult book. I devoured Night Shift by Stephen King and found a love of his writing and writing in general that has stuck with me throughout life.
I can remember the way it felt reading that book as vividly as I can remember how it felt losing my virginity and the book lasted much longer. I was scared at times and in awe at times and I times I remember thinking I could do better than this. I look back and laugh at how cocky and arrogant that thought was but I don't laugh at the epiphany that followed. Someone has to write stories and I realized I could be one of those someones.
Life hasn't quite gone that way. Events and my own lack of ambition have put that dream on the backburner. I don't say that in a wistful or regretful way. Other dreams took priority; the dreams of being a good husband, a good father, a good friend and a good lover and even the ones that didn't quite work out were dreams worth dreaming. Still, when I started this blog I realized how much the dream of being a writer still lurked in my mind. This blog has reminded me of a childhood dream and anything that can do that deserves to continue.
Those are just the selfish reasons I want to keep writing this blog but there are reasons that aren't selfish too. I've had people relate to some of the things I've written. I've heard of people learning something about themselves from what I've written. I was able to give some comfort to the family of a friend in trying times with my words. I've been told people have laughed and cried while reading this blog. Sharing myself has seemed to make people feel better about themselves. I want all of that to continue. Of course, I want all of that to continue mostly because it makes me feel good about myself so maybe there aren't any truly unselfish actions in life.
Except, maybe you guys clicking on an ad or two would be truly unselfish. I'm sure you don't like ads on the internet. I know I don't like ads on the internet. I don't hardly ever click on them. If you click on one on my page every now and then though I'll see that one cent or two cents I've earned and it will motivate me to share a little more of my thoughts and my life with you. That would be awfully nice of you.
Even if I never make any money off of this I intend to keep it going. I always thought blogging was sort of a silly thing to do until I started doing it. Now I know there are benefits; the ones I've listed and so many more. I don't know when I'll let myself say it, twenty posts or forty posts or if I keep this going a year or maybe when some money, however little, hits my bank account but someday I want to say it with pride. I am a blogger.
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